A  day in the life of Darth Vader
by Hydra God
Summary: My first story it's a bit small. A parody of the infamous Darth Vader and a look on his life in between episode III and episode VI. Maybe not the best but R&R if you can.


**A day in the life of Darth Vader.**

**. MORNING .**

**Ok to tell you the truth this is my first story submitted EVER! So prepare for Grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes, plot holes and of course since this is meant to be a c****omedy there will be horrible jokes. But hopefully with the help of the readers who choose to actually review this disgrace I will improve I hopefully intend to do quite a bit of different stories. Now about the ACTUAL story this is meant for the period between Episode III and Episode IV showing what happened on the average days of Darth Vader (AKA Anakin Skywalker) when he wasn't fighting Jedis and shooting down Rebel scum. Hope you enjoy or at least don't find it so horrible that you rip your own eyes out. This is like a test story. ******** This chapter deals with only one day of Darth Vader's life and if people like it I might just add a story line with some other chapters! And also the Death Star cafeteria is inspired by Eddie Izzard.**

**BEEP BEEP BEEP**

An alarm went off in a cold dark room next to a metal board in which a dark figure was lying down, being slowly awaken from the repeated beeping of the alarm clock which was in the shape of the Death Star currently being worked on. It was could sustain life at the moment so Darth Vader lived here overseeing the operations of the Death Star but now he was getting annoyed. He lazily lifted up a hand in his suit and threw the alarm breaking it when it hit the wall.

"Damn it I have to buy another one of those now." He muttered to himself. Well he would have muttered but with the damn helmet he wore he couldn't really mutter and breathed loudly in-between sentences (But you all know that.) He pressed a button on the metal board which slowly tilted him so he was standing up he then stepped to the floor. Oh god another day another bowl of food simulant paste. How he longed to be able to et like a normal person. How he longed to be able to touch. How he longed to actually have a dick to occupy himself on these lonely nights. Damn Obi-wan he burned half my dick off. What's a man meant to do with half a dick? He would worry on these matters later now he had to go to the Death Star cafeteria to eat him damn simulents.

Darth Vader walked into the Death Star's cafeteria where Storm Troopers were eating on one side and imperial officers on the other he walked to the line and waited in the line till he came to a cafeteria personnel in a grey suit with a white apron.

"PSSTHUH I would like to have the rancor special simuant " Said Darth Vader

"You have to be an officer to have that mate. Who are you?" Said the cafeteria worker

"PSSTHUH Who am I?! I am Darth Vader! I run the Death Star!"

"Darth who?"

"PSSTHUH Look who are you, you impudent fool?"

"I'm John Robinson like it says on the name tag sir."

"CHKHOO Well John I am your boss!"

"You're Mr Jenkins?"

"PSSTHUH Who? **NO!** I am Darth Vader!"

"Well Mr Jenkins is my boss he's head of cafeteria."

"PSSTHUH Look just give me the food."

"You'll need a tray sir.

"Tray? I need nothing! I could kill you with a single thought!"

"No sir you'll need a tray for the food."

"Silence! I could kill you with a single thought!"  
"You'll still need a tray sir."

"PHHHUH Yes I could kill you using a tray if I so wished. I wo- Oh I'll get a tray."

Darth Vader slowly walked down a bit and picked up a tray . He then walked back

"CHKHOO Here have my tray now give me my special."

"Would you want any sauce with that sir?"

And with that Darth Vader force choked the man the cafeteria worker choked some words out.

"We chok haaave a cheee choooice between ckkk spicy and _salty."_

And with that the Cafeteria worker fell to the floor dead and Darth Vader nicked the spicy sauce an sat down to eat. Then he realised it had onions in it he detested onions.

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" **He over dramatically shouted.

Darth Vader stormed out of the cafeteria. To hell with Breakfast he should get to work. The Emperor was temporarily staying here he should see if his master wanter anything it was his duty as he was a loyal servant to the Emperor. Okay so maybe not that loyal he told himself. Ok I admit it as soon as his back is turned I am totally going to stab him in the back and live a life of luxury. But who could blame me? I deserve it! I got half my dick burnt off because of him!

Darth Vader walked through the corridors of the Death Star until he came upon room 666 where his master was staying. He slowly approached the door and was about to knock but thought he would list to his master before doing so.

"UNLIMITED POWER!!!" He hear his master scream and he sighed knowing what he was doing.

"PSSTHUH My master it's not playing a video game properly if you use cheat codes." Replied Darth Vader upon entering.

The room was quite big his lord and master sitting on a white sofa with his normal black robe. As normal his room was specially designed to his orders it was painted pink with fluffy hearts on it. The Emperor was playing Sun Battles Sith knight: Sith academy. He was cuddling Mr Fluffy his toy rabbit.

"Oh you're no fun." Replied the Emperor

"PSSTHUH My Lord have you taken your nap today?"

"I don't wanna!"

"PSSTHUH My lord what happens if you don't take your nap?"

"I get _cranky..."_

"CHHKHUH What did you say?"

"I get cranky!"

"Now go take a nap."

His master walked up the stairs to his bedroom shouting "**I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!**". Darth Vader sighed his master was a powerfull sith warrior but even a sith when old becomes a little senile. He sat on the couch and decided to play on the video game a bit.

TO BE CONTINUED...

_**Well that's the first chapter so far please R&R so I may improve my writing ability.**_

_**I know it's incredibly short and not very well written but I might be able to improve. **_


End file.
